Working Woman to Homemaker

                 For many years I thought it was my God-Given talent to be a writer. I poured my heart into paper. Page after endless page for many years. Then I fell in love, had children, and found that financially my husband and I could not afford all the things we needed to raise 3 children. And with great dismay I put down my pen and paper and went to look for work. 

                  With much excitement I became a working mother. I started off in a nursing home as a Nurse Aide and found that I had a lot of compassion,  social skills, and communication skills that made me the perfect candidate for this type of job. My name is Mandy and I WAS a CNA (certified nurse aide). I loved having the time away from my children and having the adult companionship on an everyday basis. For 11 years I made it priority to get up and make a difference in someone else's life. I cared for them, held them while they cried, reassured them when they had a rough day, and held their hand and prayed while they slipped away. I sat with the family and cried with them and stayed positive for them when a mother or father or grandparent no longer recognized them. Of course every job has its down falls; parts of a job that just seem unbearable. But, taking care of my residents and making them smile was more than enough to make those "icky" parts of my job so very worthwhile.
         

                I truly loved my career.  I wasn't in it for all the overtime. I wasn't in it because I knew that nursing home jobs were easy to come by and I would never be short of a paycheck being in this field of work. What they do not tell you is how numb you become to death. That eventually you see so many pass on that you eventually just don't cry anymore. That you, in some ways, become a bit non-human.  So 11 years now and I decide to make a career change. To get back some of the humanity I shoved very far down and concreted over. To be able to cry at the loss of someone. I still have not cried for my aunt who passed 2 years ago or a grandmother who passed 3 months ago.  I decided to go back to my true passion as a writer.
         

                Going from having extra money to spend on clothes, shoes, treats for my children, amusement parks, or just simply taking the kids out to eat, to having no extra money and a strict budget has been hard. Honestly, I did not expect to be out of work for 2 months. Nursing is not my only work experience and finding another job part-time to have some income other than my husband's has been trying. Part-time work would let me be able to write and send manuscripts and actually become accomplished as an author. I send resumes out daily by the dozen with no reply. I put applications in by person and still nothing. So I looked for ways to try and make some ends meet with what I have as a writer and sign in hourly at seed.com for assignments. Hoping that someone will find me and say "HEY, That girl has talent".
           

                Being a homemaker again is not so bad. I just did not realize how stressful it would be on my marriage, our finances, and our budget.  My dear husband now works whatever overtime he can get, sometimes working five 12 hour shifts a week. Leaving the kids and myself to sometimes not see him till the weekend or just seeing him in passing.

            There have been perks to all of this also. I have had more time to really get to know my children and spend quality time with them.  I realize how much I missed out on while working and coming home exhausted after 8 hours of lifting people all day; along with coming home emotionally exhausted. I have had time to bake and cook home-made meals instead of popping something in the microwave. And My main goal accomplished...I started writing again. I even found that I like Photography. I have been taking pictures like crazy. And you know what? It's paying off. I'm being published as an amateur photographer in an anthology.

             I know I will find a part-time job eventually. Staying positive and keeping your chin up is hard to do when you keep getting denied. But that only means the right path hasn't come along yet. Being unemployed is teaching me a lot of restraint. Turning lights off, setting the thermostat a little higher, buy in bulk, and most importantly,  actually cook instead of buying all those easy meals. (You save more in the long run.) Waste Not Want Not. Words to live by.

              So, with closing words to all those out there searching daily for a job or new career...I trust something will come along. Be firm in making daily affirmations to try harder each day and broaden your horizons. When it seems you have run out of resources, try, try, try again. Learn to make your talents take you where you want to go. You won't be unemployed forever.